Sound files

french.wav- Chris: Hey, how do you know a Frenchman's been in your backyard? Teddy: Hey, I'm French, OK? Chris: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog is pregnant. Teddy: Didn't I just say I was French? [232K]

1000eyes.wav - Chris: You four-eyed pile of sh*t. Teddy: A pile of sh*t has a THOUSAND eyes. [154K]

loneranger.wav - Chris: You wanna be the Lone Ranger or the Cisco Kid? [78K]

gun.wav - Gordie: Is it loaded? Chris: Hell no, what do you think I am? <BANG!> Gordie and Chris: Jesus! [132K]

kids.wav - Teddy: Did your mother ever have any kids that lived? Vern: What do you mean? [112K]

comb.wav - Teddy: Why didn't you bring something?! Vern: What am I supposed to do, think of everything? I brought the comb! Teddy: Oh great, you brought the comb! What do you need a comb for? You don't even have any hair! [149K]

chopper.wav - Narrator: Thus, a kid who had illegally scaled the junkyard fence might hear the dread cry, "Chopper, sic balls." [171K]

fatkid.wav - Vern: Oh great, spit at the fat kid. Real good. [61K]

retarded.wav - Gordie: Does the word "retarded" mean anything to you? [55K]

shutup2.wav - Gordie: Shut up. Vern, Chris, and Teddy: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. [132K]

findhim.wav - Vince: I tell you how they're gonna find him. Ten years from now, some hunter's gonna go in the woods to take a leak . . . wind up pissing on his booooones. [180K]

2000dollars.wav - Ace: Would you two just shut the f*ck up? If either one of you assholes had $2000, I'd kill you both. [123K]

getmoving.wav - Vern: Come on you guys, let's get moving. Teddy: Yeah, by the time we get there, the kid won't even be dead anymore. [104K]

relax.wav - Teddy: You guys can go around if you want to. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses halfway across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts. [264K]

leftorright.wav - Gordie: Do you use your left hand or your right hand for that? Teddy: You wish. [104K]

barforama.wav - Gordie: And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he had created: a complete and total barf-o-rama. Vern, Teddy, and Chris: Wooooo! [339K]

position.wav - Ace: OK, you've stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine. Get in the f*cking car! Now! [181K]

verntoldus.wav - Teddy: Yeah, Vern told us how you found him. "Oh Billy! I wish we never boosted that car! Oh Billy! I think I just turned my Fruit of the Looms into a fudge factory." [220K]

bestline.wav - All I'm gonna say is, it's the best line [110K]

justyou.wav - Ace: What are you gonna do, shoot us all? Gordie: No Ace, just you. [115K]